I learned about mindfulness over two decades ago. Since then, I tried to use the technique many times. But just like meditation, I failed miserably because I completely misunderstood what mindfulness is and what it is for. Luckily, I spent some time diving into Buddhism and buddhist practises. Turns out mindfulness is neither a tool nor an exercise. It’s a way of being.
Tool or exercise?
When I first read about mindfulness, it sounded like a tool to calm the mind. Focus on the bubbles from the dishwashing liquid on your hands when you do the dishes. Really take the time to chew and taste your food. Drink your water slowly and enjoy the cool sensation as it runs down your throat. Do this once or twice a day and you’ll feel calmer overall.
Well, that didn’t work at all. I tried practising with different actions and even walked mindfully. But the result – a calm and clear mind – never came. So I blamed first myself, then the technique and eventually moved on for a while. As a cyclical scanner I kept on trying though.
Last year, when I figured out that meditation was just an exercise for the mind, I enthusiastically dived back into mindfulness. Another tool to practise focus only with this one I could move about. Variety is the spice of life so I thought I’d practise focusing some more with mindfulness.
The monks
I meditated with monks every morning for a month at Sumedhārāma, a Buddhist monastery in Portugal and read lots of books on Buddhism. Turns out that one of their key teachings is to embody their beliefs every day. So instead of “practise what you preach”, Buddhism is about being a Buddhist.
Practice implies that there are breaks. But not in Buddhism. A true Buddhist is supposed to live the right way in every moment. Use the right speech and thoughts, have the right view and understanding and take the right actions. Not try or even practice. Be and do.
Sure, they make mistakes and lapse into old habits. No big deal. Back to being. At least, that’s the ideal. Actual monks are still human and struggle implementing this concept. I mean, just because someone tells you “don’t become enlightened. Be enlightened” does not mean you’ll reach nirvana immediately. And that’s ok. But this worldview helped me finally understand what mindfulness is.
New perspective
It’s neither a tool for a better and easier life, nor is it a focusing exercise. Mindfulness is a worldview. It’s being present. The right here and right now is all that matters. The past is irrelevant and the future does not exist. All we have is now.
Most of our thoughts are about the past or the potential future. Either we rehash mistakes or remember happy times, or we plan, worry and imagine the future. We rarely focus our thoughts on the now. This can be quite a problem. Thoughts gone off the rails cost us enormous amounts of energy and time. Mindfulness means detaching yourself from these utterly unhelpful thoughts. When you do, you free up an enormous amount of time and energy.
And it’s not a practice. Squishing soap bubbles between your fingers once a day is nice and all, but that’s not mindfulness. It’s a watered-down version of what is really a healthy and productive way to live your life. Every moment counts and deserves our full focus. When we bother to be present, we enter a state of flow. Don’t “practise” mindfulness. Live it. Be mindful. And watch your amazingly beautiful life unfold perfectly, moment by moment.