When we are young, we learn to paint a picture of ourselves in our minds. We carry that picture around with us for the rest of our lives, what it looks like influences everything we do, and all the decisions we make.
If you are like me, you spent a good chunk of your life trying to figure out how to be like others. You may have tried a career, or more likely several, but none of them was right for you. You may have studied different subjects (I have 3 postgraduate degrees…), tried countless hobbies and made friends so varied you don’t throw parties because they’d never get along with each other. You’re a Scanner.
The quote above is from a blog post based on the idea that our values change as we grow older. The author suggests we should check in with our values so we can adapt the image we created of ourselves when we were children. Being a Scanner, I’d like to suggest a different approach. What if we got it right when were little? What if that is the image of ourselves we should finally embrace?
Adventurous? Moi?
A friend of mine reminded me the other day of the self-image I created as a child. She called me “adventurous”. That’s not a word I have used to describe myself but it is a word I love! Her comment also immediately triggered memories. When I was a kid I watched a lot of TV.
One of my favourite shows was MacGyver. The man was a genius! He came up with brilliant ideas and built stuff from other stuff that just happened to lie around. What’s more, he knew about chemistry and physics even though he wasn’t a professor! Just a normal dude who knew everything.
And then there was The Pretender. I still remember how excited I was when I first realised what Jarod did. He’s the main character. As a child, he was kidnapped from his home because he was a pretender = a genius who could learn everything he needed to know about a subject to do it. Every week he did something completely different! I mean, sure, he also tried to find his family and take down the evil people who kidnapped him, but more importantly, he had a different job every week and helped people!
Self-image
Thinking back, yes, the show was a bit silly. I remember in one episode Jarod pretended to be a heart surgeon and performed surgery after reading a few books on the subject. LOL. But for a kid who was surrounded by adults telling her you pick your life (aka job) at the age of 16 and then that’s who you are, the show was absolutely mind-blowing. “That!” I thought. “That’s what I want to be. A pretender.”
That was the image I created for myself back then: A genius problem solver with different jobs, lots of knowledge in a ton of subjects and who helps people wherever she can. I would even have adventures on the way! The article I quoted at the beginning of the post encourages readers to ask if our values have changed and to adjust our self-image accordingly.
My personal answer is no. I still want every day to be an adventure. I want to use my unique abilities to help people, to solve problems and to entertain! So OK, the last bit is an addition. But the image I have been carrying around with me since I was a child is who I have become. I am now allowing myself to fully lean into it.
Your turn
As I was thinking of the person I have become and how much I love my adventurous life, I came across that blog post I keep mentioning. I have done value assessments in the past and they were usually helpful. But when I thought about this post, I was wondering if you were as lucky as me?
I was an outsider in school and pretty much everywhere I went afterwards. Hold the waterworks because my outsider status actually protected me. I felt so different from a very early age on that I decided other people’s opinions could not possibly apply to me. Their ideas of life (one house, one career, the same friends, the same country!?!? Forever?????) were simply inapplicable.
But what about you? Did you feel like this too? Or were you under pressure to conform? Did you pick a career, a place to live, maybe even a partner because you thought you had to? Because you thought that was “normal”? Did it work out? Were you happy on the way?
At this point in a post like this, I’m supposed to give you a bunch of questions to help you figure out your values. But I’m not normal. Instead, I give you a value to live by. You are of course free to reject it, but why not try it on for size? Just for a little while. See how it feels. Ready? Here it comes.
Be you
Not sure what “being you” means? Find a comfy chair. Think back. When you were a kid, what made you happy? What made you laugh with joy? Did you ever think “I want to be like you when I grow up!”? Who were those people or fictional characters? What did you like about them? What’s the image you painted of yourself as a child?
What if you never failed? Not once in your entire life? What if every single decision you made was a tug of war between the adults around you shouting their expectations at you and the small child who knew – just knew – who you are, what you are and what you can do? What would happen if your main value became being you?
You are so unique you are a miracle. You are a genius, a mastermind, a creator. It’s time to be you because the more you allow yourself to unleash your brilliance, the more people you will help, entertain and inspire. So if no one has said this to you before, let me be the first: From the bottom of my heart, thank you for being you.